I Cannot Pay my Bills, I am Unemployed or Just Retired so I will Twist Balloon Animals and Make Money as my New Job

While twisting balloon animals at a restaurant, a customer will turn to a friend and say, “Hey, Bob, that’s a job for you, twisting balloons animals.” What did I do to give them the impression that my skills were so common that a layperson can just pick up a bag of balloons and twist animals?  Yes, I spent hours perfecting my balloon twisting, so it does look easy and effortless. That is what a professional does. Look at professional athletes on TV, then go out to your local playground, and attempt those athletic moves.  Better yet, videotape them, and you will see that you are not a thing of grace and beauty, but an uncoordinated blob with arms and legs flying in the wind.

I find people who have minimal skills working with the public do not understand the necessary skills to interact with them. Simple mannerism and terminology that you would say with family and friends need to be politically correct; appearance needs to be clean and healthy, while carefully walking a tightrope with comedic anecdotes that do not offend a person’s religion, morals, or feelings. This alone is very difficult to do. Still, people think you can just take a bag of balloons into a restaurant and twist balloons and tell jokes.

Yet, there is that individual that you wish you knew what they did for a living.  Just their mannerism and tone of voice tells you they have never worked in customer service.  These people are the “perfect” people who do no wrong, and that spews utter dribble out of their mouths. These are the people who can turn a beautifully, fulfilled day into a cesspool of sludge.

However, there are the people that you cherish as an entertainer.  They see the long hours of practice and understand your comedy and are there to laugh and enjoy, not to analyzed and criticized.  These are the people that you get up each day and look forward to entertaining.   So for all those people who want to do my job,  pick up a bag of balloons, find a restaurant who will hire you sight unseen, and perform our heart out.  You just may find yourself in the hospital looking for a heart transplant.

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4 thoughts on “I Cannot Pay my Bills, I am Unemployed or Just Retired so I will Twist Balloon Animals and Make Money as my New Job”

  1. Dale

    Like him or not, the grand poobah of talk radio;Rush Limbaugh has words of wisdom for that which you’re experiencing. Its the “you-make-it-look-easy” factor. He basically says the same thing…people think they can do what you do because you make it look effortless and fun. Take it as a compliment.

    You’re not the only one experiencing that phenomenon. We get that all the time in the search engine marketing landscape. People think that because access is free, ‘anyone can do it’. Sure….anyone can do it (Google, Yahoo and MSN all have open registration for ppc accounts), but do it WELL and get RESULTS that make them money? That’s a horse of a different color. The problem with encouraging companies to ‘do it themselves’ is they shoot their wadd with an employee who ‘thinks’ they know what they’re doing. And when they’ve gone through the budget with minimal ROI, the decision makers think ‘search engine marketing’ doesn’t work.

  2. Here’s another thing I do when I twist…Give a big dude, an athletic type looking guy a 260 and ask him to blow it up. First YOU show him just how “easy” it is.
    I haven’t had any guys able to blow it up with ease, and most just give up. It’s cool to see body builders trying to blow them up. You explain that you have developed certain muscles to be able to do with with ease, just as they have developed their muscles. etc…

  3. I have had similar comments. the worst was when I was with a college classmate. He said “yes she’s also an ARCHITECT (pertaining to me) I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SHE WOULD RATHER TWIST BALLOONS THAN PRACTICE ARCHITECTURE” Right at my face!
    To which I replied, “I’M HAPPIER IN WHAT I DO LESS STRESS LESS HASSLE… BESIDES, AT this point and time I am the best in my area in this field… I don’t think I can be the best architect plus I don’t see myself sitting on a table severals hours drawing and designing. It was such a let down for quite some time then I later discovered that we earn the same amount of money once you cut off the expenses and divide the time. I didn’t feel bad for myself after that….

  4. I have been twising for about 6 years now off and on. I love it. I feel so good when I hand a child a balloon I have been making and they knows it is just for them. Righ now this profession is putting food on my family’s table. I still love it even though righ now it is a necesity. I fortunately have not come across anyone with this type of attitude. Most of mine have been very nice things like “I don’t know how you do that!” My response is “Practice, Practice, Practice! I wish I had started this a little sooner in life. Right now I am helping a young man learn how to do balloons, that is alot of fun also.

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