I Cannot Pay my Bills, I am Unemployed or Just Retired so I will Twist Balloon Animals and Make Money as my New Job

While twisting balloon animals at a restaurant, a customer will turn to a friend and say, “Hey, Bob, that’s a job for you, twisting balloons animals.” What did I do to give them the impression that my skills were so common that a layperson can just pick up a bag of balloons and twist animals?  Yes, I spent hours perfecting my balloon twisting, so it does look easy and effortless. That is what a professional does. Look at professional athletes on TV, then go out to your local playground, and attempt those athletic moves.  Better yet, videotape them, and you will see that you are not a thing of grace and beauty, but an uncoordinated blob with arms and legs flying in the wind.

I find people who have minimal skills working with the public do not understand the necessary skills to interact with them. Simple mannerism and terminology that you would say with family and friends need to be politically correct; appearance needs to be clean and healthy, while carefully walking a tightrope with comedic anecdotes that do not offend a person’s religion, morals, or feelings. This alone is very difficult to do. Still, people think you can just take a bag of balloons into a restaurant and twist balloons and tell jokes.

Yet, there is that individual that you wish you knew what they did for a living.  Just their mannerism and tone of voice tells you they have never worked in customer service.  These people are the “perfect” people who do no wrong, and that spews utter dribble out of their mouths. These are the people who can turn a beautifully, fulfilled day into a cesspool of sludge.

However, there are the people that you cherish as an entertainer.  They see the long hours of practice and understand your comedy and are there to laugh and enjoy, not to analyzed and criticized.  These are the people that you get up each day and look forward to entertaining.   So for all those people who want to do my job,  pick up a bag of balloons, find a restaurant who will hire you sight unseen, and perform our heart out.  You just may find yourself in the hospital looking for a heart transplant.

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