Don’t become lethargic in your presentation
Over the years, too many balloon artists are just machines, churning out the creations with the emotions of a dead log or stick. Here is a collection of one-liners, jokes that you can use even with a huge long line. When you use these, you know you are entertaining not just the one you are giving the balloon to, but also the others watching and waiting in line. Please oh please put some personality in your work. ANYONE can learn the mechanics of twisting a balloon but it takes practice and dedication to our art to entertain and touch the lives of people. Some of these might be a repeat of an out of print book that I wrote 20 years ago, but most are fresh for today. Use them and enjoy.
This is a French poodle. He goes “Oui, Oui.”
It was raining cats and dogs yesterday. I stepped in a poodle.
If the balloon pops, it becomes an “air” dale.
This dog is trained. Watch.
(Use some of the following “tricks:
Stand the balloon up. Say “Stay”. It stays.
Say, “Play dead”. Blow on the balloon. It falls over and plays dead.
Say, “Roll Over”. With your hand, roll it over.
This balloon just got back from the hospital. It had a “hoperation.”
This balloon’s name is “Hairy”.
What do you call a bunch of rabbits marching backwards? A receding “hare” line.
What does a 2000 lb parrot say? “Polly wants a cracker. NOW!”
This dog’s name is “Frank”.
His last name is “Furter”
He and his brother went to the ball game. They are “Ball Park” Franks.
This dog ran in a race. Got behind and had to run real fast to “Catch Up.”
(Do the ‘trained animal bits referred to in the poodle section.)
What do a cat on the beach and the North Pole have in common? “They both have “Sandy Claws”
What kind of car do you think this cat drives? “A Cat-i-lac”
Demonstrate how the bird flies but palm a bit of broken balloon. When appropriate, release the balloons, indicating that the seagull is just being a seagull. Say you have to be careful cuz this balloon isn’t house broken.
“Two seagulls are flying over a car lot. One says to the other, I like that Mercedes down there. I think I am going to put a deposit down on it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? “To get to the other side.”
Why did the punk rocker cross the road? “Stapled to the chicken.”
As you can see, it can go on and on and on…Look up additional jokes and one-liners in joke books with animal jokes in them. Yes, the adults will groan and some of the kids won’t get it. I guarantee that the adults will be repeating them at the office! Have fun and keep on Twistin!’
*OK….OK…This next joke is current, but has nothing to do with animals.
Michael Jackson made one last recording before he died.
No, I don’t tell all the other jokes I have heard and this is the only one that is acceptable. Have fun!