Babys First Birthday turns Entertainers Hair White

This is only a thought - not reality

One of the advantages of entertaining at a baby’s 1st birthday party is that I can interact with parents.  In the early days, people assumed I had kids.

“Kids? None yet.” That was my reply.  “I am still collecting Duct tape and Velcro.”  I would put them in a Velcro suit and stick them to the wall.  Duct tape was just in case the Velcro doesn’t hold.

Now, that may not be a politically correct view on how to raise a child properly,  however, when your 2.5-year son sits in front of your balloon apron and is giggling hysterically and pulling handfuls of balloons out of a balloon apron and tossing balloon after balloon into the air in front of your eyes; just after you have spent three tedious hours meticulously arrange them into the apron, you can’t help thinking–where’s my duct tape?

These are the heartwarming stories I now share with people when they ask me if I have kids. Well, it’s more like war stores with fellow comrades in arms. Still, we gather around these lovely little bundles of joy to celebrate their 1st birthday ignoring how they have nearly worn us down to sleepless soles in just one year.

We chart their growth at the doctor’s office hoping they’ll be in the 50 percentile and are amazed when they exceed these levels.  My wife’s nephew has done that.   He is at the 50 percentile for both height and weight, but his head is at 95%.  I’m not sure where he gets the big head from, but he’s slowly growing into it.

These are the joys of being a parent and I am happy to share these stories with other parents who gather at a baby’s 1st birthday party. Nevertheless, there is always the one who has older kids and will tell ya, “What, just what until their teenagers.”  At that moment, you can feel the hairs on your head-turning white, just at the thought of your precious baby becoming a teenager someday.

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